29 Jun 2012

To name




Took a photo last night before heading to my bed. Just realized my tummy wasn't perfectly round....Hmm...interesting, but is it normal i wondered.


Friends start asking baby bean's name and I feel slightly disturbed when i wasn't able to answer the question over and over again. Though we've already have her name in Chinese (Wei-Fan), I guess it's better for her having an English name that's easier to remember.


How's Olivia sound? Baby bean is supposed to land in October, so I started with the letter "O". I have checked naming dictionary: Olivia is a name from one of Shakespear's operas, symbol of peace and fruitfulness. Maybe she'll be thoughtful and sweet, I might have a peaceful journey while raising her up.


I also like "Sophie", meaning: wisdom. I know the name from a book called "Sophie's World", by Jostein Gaarder. I like the character of Sophie, slightly quirky and cleaver, questioning ordinary things and unique personality. Maybe I will have headaches by getting too many questions from her curiosity, but this will be fun, isn't it?


Olivia sounds peaceful, Sophie sounds fun and a little mess... should I choose an easy or hard life?


...to be continued...

28 Jun 2012

36hrs raining



I went to photograph a press for a friend of mine's theatre production "La Voix Humaine" (Human Voice, it's now showing at La Boite Theatre from now til the 14th of July)


Different from dance productions, drama/theatre productions requires a lot more stage settings.  When i just arrived, three stunning performers were still plotting with the lighting designer and stage manager. Each steps, spoken lines could be the cue, and I was very amazed by the profession of all the performers and production team.


It was just lovely to be involved, though i was only there for a short 2 hours, I felt like one of them. I photographically documented this work in last year (2011), they were still developing this work and trying to get more funding; This year, they are performing again with a better stage settings, costumes, and lightings... this is wonderful to see their growth, and huge success... I'm very honored to be involved again, and hopefully i can bring a better series of photo to somehow help them to the next level~ Chookas, La Voix Humaine!

16 Jun 2012

Sunny again


Finally a late afternoon phone call from Mater Mother's Hospital threw the stone of my shoulder away. Patiently waiting has finally paid back in a good result! There's no Amniocentesis needed and our baby bean is fine now~


I had a wonderfully peaceful sleep last night, waking up the next morning with Kevin's palm on my tummy...This is our family, my lovely family~


Am I going to feel her moving soon?

12 Jun 2012

Patient


A few days after the terrifying appointment with my GP, I am finally calm as normal. It'll be a lie if I say I don't care or I'm not worry, but I guess this is the cost of living, being a mother. I can never imagine this fully until I made my decision to develop our family, having a child, now, it's passed the imagination to the real facts, happens everyday, any moment.


We're still waiting for the phone call from Mater Mother's Hospital to have an Amniocentesis test...The waiting is sometimes frustrating. However there's nothing I can do really, but being patient...


** photo was taken on the way out Ross Town, Tasmania, in Feb 2012 **

7 Jun 2012

Amniocentesis

baby bean: 18  weeks and 5 days.


After our morphology scan on Tuesday, we went to see our GP for the result. The doctor said our baby has a very low potential of being a down syndrome, hence, I need to do a blood and amniocentesis test asap.


Though Kevin and I have discussed about whether or not keeping our baby if she is down syndrome, it was still new and overwhelming to me. My mind went blank and couldn't continue to listen to the doctor.


I burst into tears and could not help myself out though it was a very low chance of risk... For me, as a mother-to-be, I don't like taking risks especially risk on someone i love deeply and so much already.


I understand this isn't even the tiniest mater of mater to the entire world, but it's already sounded like the end of my world. I started questioning and blaming on myself whether i did something really bad to force her have to sacrifice with me, i blame on myself if i have been eaten unhealthy food, I blame on myself basically every single stupid and tiniest thing i couldn't have thought of before. Being a mother is truly strong and powerful, but being a mother-to-be is weak as me right now sometimes, isn't it?


I know it's not even the tiniest mater of mater to the world at all, please allow myself to be selfishly enlarge my tiniest fact that risks on my beautiful daughter-to-be's life to the max and allow my to cry our for the night so I am able to act fine from tomorrow. I am only hoping, in the coming future when I look back this particular blog, I can laugh myself out loud and yell how silly and funny I used to be.

Good morning



It's always an exciting thing to meet up new friends and especially new housemates. There are 2 new housemates moving in today and they're originally from Taiwan.  They took overnight and long distance train traveled from Sydney to Brisbane, all the way here to find a part-time job as Working-Holiday travelers.

I believe part of the meaning of creating 'Working Holiday Visa' is for foreigners is to welcome and allow themselves take a year off, experiencing the nature of Australian beauty and at the same time they also have some sort of reasonable income to support their journey.

Most of Taiwanese friends that i know are too scared to give up their permanent job in Taiwan (because of the economic crisis and job vacancy shortage) to take the rare and treasure adventure. Also they don't have enough confidence in their spoken English skill. I'm very proud of people who at least take the risk, coming to Australia.

There is a very interesting fact i find in some of our working-holiday friends: They tend to earn as much money as possible throughout the whole year limit and forget about experiencing the natural beauty. I have been away from Taiwan for years, though I know how hard it is to find a job and make good income, I am not actually experiencing and suffering from all the difficulties, I guess i have no right to blame on people who use this opportunity to bring as much money back and don't care about just having fun and traveling. However I still deeply feel what a pity it is.


This is one of the photos I took when we were in Tasmania, on the way back from Cradle Mt. I still remember the cold wind stabbed through my face and the raining afternoon. We were not lucky enough to escape from the rain and spend time in Cradle Mt but this was definitely a worthwhile trip. Oh my goodness, food in Tasmania is amazing! Must try their fresh salmon and fish pie!

6 Jun 2012

Centenary Pool


After a week of rain, finally we're lucky enough to have this beautiful sunshine today for the underwater photo shoot with performing artist, Jessi Lewis. Thanks him and Ausdance QLD for contacting me to this photo shoot, I got to learn how to give direction to my object efficiently in a very stressful time frame that we've got.

Here is one of the phone we took and I like very much~

This isn't the end of world

I went to see QUT dance students' performance last night. While watching each different pieces and students, I was thinking of a conversation that I had with a few 1st year freshmen students from Taiwan. One of them mentioned she didn't know if she should continue on dancing because she knows dance industry is crucial, and she didn't feel her passion to dance anymore. Some other students nodded their heads to agree... Why the educational systems and teaching are killing those beautiful performers?


University isn't the whole world, and it shouldn't end you, and kill you hard. Yes indeed, some daily practices are boring and you might not find them interesting at all. But you shouldn't think this represents the entire world when you don't even look for what's been happening outside of university. You know you're not the typical dancer and you know you're not going to shine and be seen on stage so you decide to leave perhaps what you love to do when you're only a freshmen. As I know, those ones who are still dancing, creating and performing are with their pure passion to dance. 

What is a typical dancer, and why do you think only 'the typical dancers' can survive and be successful. Why do you want to force yourself to be 'the typical dancer' to be able to dance and perform?

Morphology scan


My pregnancy is now reaching up to 18 weeks and 5 days. I went to do a morphology scan with Kevin. Our naughty baby bean was tricking us, she was very curl up so it was really hart to measure her body. The examiner was pushing my tummy and trying to get baby bean move around a little bit. The result was negative, hence i was asked to jump and move around...

Since know i was pregnant, I have been too scared to dance and I have been missing dance a lot. I didn't realized that I was actually able to 'jump' around! How exciting!

We tried to find out baby bean's gender and it's most likely we're having a girl! We start imagining to dress her up and spending time with me in the kitchen, making cookies and cakes and waiting for daddy's home from work...All the sudden, everything becomes bubbly and so pinky.

Finally I got baby bean open up a bit and complete the whole scan. Now we need to wait until the result from GP this Thursday.

We now only pray the result is all positive and baby bean is happy and healthy.