Life pancake

On the other night before we went to bed, I lied on my pillow and asked Kevin,


"when do you think you're going to stop financially supporting our kid, to start them being independent"?


"Once they're 18, i recon they should be out and experience, rising themselves", answered Kev.


Let's say we're going to live until 80, then we die. I will be spending Maximum 20 years with my 2 kids (one is not in my tummy, waiting to land at the end of Oct this year, and we plan to have the another one before I reach my 30, in 2 years time), then they're going to move out, learning to be independent at my age of 50, and I will spend my rest of ideal 30 years with Kevin, hopefully travel around the world and enjoy.


There're only 20 years with my children...


Compare to my own life time frame, I have only spent 15 year in the family with my parents, 10 years with my younger daughter, and 3 years with my younger brother. I left home when my brother was only 3 years of age. This scares me... If my brother and I are not blood related, he wouldn't remember me at all!


I think this is easier to live in my first 15 year at home. Since then, there has been a very weird kind of emotion and homesick happened to me. I eager for parents care at the same time I avoid their caring and concern, I look for feeling the love from my parent however at the same time I am too scared to share my stories. I miss them, but I'm too scared to contact them.


Now, I'm becoming someone else's parent, there's another weird of emotion quietly formed...